The Power of a Picture

There are times when words fail, no matter how gifted the writer. Goethe, one of the most gifted, said that “Music begins where words end,” but even choosing the music for the above picture would be difficult.

I will say very little about the photo reproduction and leave the rest to you. The photo was taken at a wedding, the happiest of occasions. The year was 1928. The place, Hungary. The Jewish wedding of Ibolya Heisler and Erno Kaufmann. By now you are getting the picture.

Fifty-eight people, all numbered and most identified. Many would eventually be numbered differently: with tatooed identification numbers placed on the left forearm as they were swept into the Holocaust during World War II (1939 – 1945).

April 8th is Holocaust Remembrance Day. It is a day to honor those lost, but also intended to warn us never to forget what happened to them; and never to permit this depth of human cruelty to occur again. And yet, my hunch is that for the survivors and their children there has been no difficulty in remembering. The problem is instead that it is so difficult to forget.

Only two of those pictured survived the Nazi attempt to exterminate the entire Jewish population of Europe.

Each one with a life much like yours or mine. Each one. If you click on the photo, you will see an enlarged version and be able to make out the faces. Their names — the names that the Nazis replaced with numbers — can be found below.

The photo comes courtesy of the children of the two survivors.

M=male; F=female Taken at Ibolya Heisler’s wedding

(6th revision 7/7/86) Date:  Summer of 1928 (LGF)

1. F Unknown relative of #31 (OHM).  KEMPFNER, Piroska, niece of #48 (LGF)

2. M Eldest son of Isidor BRAUN, brother of #43 (OHM); BRAUN, Francis, son of #18 & #48 (LGF)

3. F HEISLER, Hermin, nee Reisz, sister of #6, married HEISLER, Ferenc, nephew of #13 & 1st cousin #37 (TH, MH, & LGF)

4. F Rosa, our maid (LGF)

5. F KEMPFNER, Irma, daughter of #9 & niece of #48 (LGF)

6. F HEISLER, Ilona, nee Reisz, wife of #37, sister of #3 (TH, MH, OHM, LGF)

7. F unknown KAUFMANN relative

8. F HEISLER, Imre’s wife, Sari (OHM):  HEISLER, Sara, wife of 1st cousin of #37 (LGF)

9. F KEMPFNER, Berta, sister-in-law of #48 **

10. F HEISLER, Ilus, daughter of #13 by 1st wife; sister of #37; married MARKUS, Imre (OHM); HEISLER, I., daughter of #13 by 1st wife, died in Auschwitz (LGF)

11. F HEFFER, Sara, daughter of #15 (LGF)

12. M KAUFMANN cousin (LGF)

13. M HEISLER, Marton (Mor) married (1) Julia Fischer (2) Arabella Weisz (MH, OHM, TH)

14. M KAUFMANN cousin (LGF)

15. F HEFFER, Theresa, second cousin of #43 (LGF)

16. M Unknown, KAUFMANN relative (LGF)

17. F KEMPFNER, Berta, sister-in-law of #48. **#9 & #17 are different persons (LGF)

18. M BRAUN, Isidor, brother of #43 (LGF)

19. F KAUFMANN, Katharine, sister of #45 & daughter of #46 (LGF)

20. F unknown KAUFMANN relative (LGF)

21. M KAUFMANN, Bernard, brother of #45 & son of #46 (LGF)

22. M Probably the gardener! (AMH)

23. F Wife of Bernard KAUFMANN, #21, (LGF)

24. F SCHWARTZ, Wilma, daughter of #25 & distant cousin of #43 (LGF)

25. F SCHWARTZ, Bertha, third cousin of #43 (LGF)

26. F SCHWARTZ, Vilma sister-in-law of #25 & relative of #43 (LGF)

27. F SCHWARTZ, Sydonia, cousin of #43 (LGF)

28. F Unknown KAUFMANN relative

29. F HEISLER, Margit, daughter of #43 married Greiner, Isidor (OHM) (LGF)

30. F HEISLER, Arabella Weisz, 2nd wife of #13 (MH)

31. F KOVACS, Frieda, nee Braun, sister of #43 (OHM); KEMPFNER (changed to KOVACS) Frieda, nee Braun (LGF)

32. M SCHNEIDER, Sandor married to #33 (TH, LGF)

33. F HEISLER, Bozsi, daughter of Heisler, Samuel & Fanny (TH); Heisler, Elizabeth married to #32 (LGF)

34. F Piroska, daughter of #42 who is 2nd cousin of #43 (LGF)

35. M Husband of #34 – they divorced later (LGF)

36. M ADLER, Bela, husband of #39 (LGF)

37. M HEISLER, Mihaly aka Michael, son of #13 by 1st wife (TH, MH)

38. F FISCHL, Josephine nee Heffer, daughter of #15 (LGF)

39. F BRAUN, Piri, cousin from #43’s side (OHM):  BRAUN, Piri, daughter of #18 & #48 & niece of #43; married (1) ADLER, (2) SPITZER, George (LGF)

40. F Baby:  FISCHL, Susan, daughter of #38 (LGF)

41. F Grandma KEMPFNER, mother of #48, & mother-in-law of #18 (LGF)

42. F SINGER, Sidonia, second cousin of #43 (LGF)

43. F HEISLER, Roza nee Braun married H., Jakab, brother of #13 (OHM, MH, TH, LGF)

44. F HEISLER, Ibolya, bride of #45, daughter of #43 (OHM, TH, LGF)

45. M KAUFMANN, Erno, groom of #44 (OHM); the bridegroom (LGF)

46. F KAUFMANN, mother of #45 — this was a wedding picture (OHM, LGF)

47. F SZILAGYI, Gundi, #43’s daughter by 1st marriage (OHM):  SZILAGYI, Kunigunda nee Braun, 1/2 sister of #43 by her father’s 1st marriage (LGF)

48. F BRAUN, Gizella, nee Kempfner, wife of #18 & sister-in-law of #43 (LGF)

49. F HEFFER, Ilona, daughter of #15 (LGF)

50. M Unknown Kaufmann relative (LGF)

51. F HEFFER, Jolan, daughter of #15 (LGF)

52. F KAUFMANN grandchild (LGF)

53. F GREINER, Edith, daughter of #29 (TH, LGF) married HOLZER, Alois (LGF)

54. F HEISLER, Klari, daughter of #3 & HEISLER, Ferenc, nephew of #13 (TH)

55. F GREINER, Lenke, daughter of #29 married Farkas Laszlo (TH, MH, LGF)

56. F KEMPFNER, Piroska, daughter of #17 (LGF)

57. M HEISLER, Laszlo (Laci), son of #43 (TH, OHM, LGF)

58. ? Baby on right:  Probably the child of #21 & #23 (AMH)

Dog:  Bundy (OHM);  Bundas (LGF)

Note: Sources indicated in parentheses ( ) following entry are:  OHM = Olga Heisler Marko;  TH = Tibor Heisler; MH = Mihaly or Michael Heisler; LGF = Lenke Greiner Farkas; AMH = Anne McDonnel Heisler

For a very different story on the same subject, click on the link: To Save One Life Is As If You Have Saved the World: Nicholas Winton and the “Kindertransport”.

Moral Choices

https://i2.wp.com/upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/8/80/Choices%2C_choices..._-_geograph.org.uk_-_465212.jpg/500px-Choices%2C_choices..._-_geograph.org.uk_-_465212.jpg

It is easy to judge others, but are not without blind spots in judging ourselves. In the domain of moral choices, this becomes particularly problematic. How many times have you heard or thought to yourself, “If I were he, I would have done that differently.” Or perhaps, “If I were he, I wouldn’t have done what he did.” But how many times have you said to yourself, “If I’m honest, if I were in the same situation, I really don’t know what I would have done.”

I’ve listed below a few such moral dilemmas, some drawn from real life accounts. I hope you will put yourself in each one and ask yourself three questions:

1. What is the right thing to do?

2. Would I do the right thing?

3. Am I absolutely sure what the right thing is?

A. If you have seen the 1957 movie Abandon Ship, you know the moral quandary in which Alec Holmes (Tyrone Power) finds himself. Holmes is second in command of a luxury ocean liner which strikes a mine. He takes charge of a life boat when the captain (Lloyd Nolan) dies from injuries sustained in the explosion. The small vessel is seriously overcrowded (including numerous people who are hanging on from ocean-side), has limited supplies of food and medicine, and is in shark-infested waters with only small amounts of  shark repellent in hand. Those hoping to survive include the young and old of both genders, some of whom have been grievously injured as the ship went down.

Soon they become aware that no SOS was sent, because the explosion destroyed the radio. Concluding that no rescue ship will be looking for them, Holmes determines the infirm and weakest must be ordered off the so that the remaining individuals can have a chance at survival by rowing the very great distance to the nearest land mass, with enough food to sustain them until they reach it. What would you do if you were in charge?

B. This comes from the oral history of a Holocaust survivor as described in Holocaust Testimonies: The Ruins of Memory by Lawrence Langer. Imagine that you are one among many Jews swept up in the Shoah (the Hebrew word for the Holocaust). You have been separated from your parents. You aren’t certain whether they are alive or dead. In fact, the Nazis have taken a large group of Jews, including your mother, to a place in the forest. They have required these people, at gun point, to dig a long, deep trench. While doing this, the soldiers are joking, smoking, and drinking. Once the trench has been dug to an adequate depth, a handful of the soldiers shoot their machine guns at the diggers along the line of the trench. Some are killed instantly, some dive into the trench to escape the gun fire, and others are wounded to various degrees of severity.

Meanwhile, you are far from this action. Perhaps you heard the gun fire in the distance. But once it is finished, the Nazis assemble a group of Jews to fill in the trench, to cover over their dirty work, quite literally. You are in this group, assigned to this grisly task. The soldiers have their guns on you and your co-workers, reminding you to work quickly or else. Much moaning and screams of pain are heard from this place. And one more thing: From the trench in front of you, a familiar voice is also heard, quite distinctly. It is your mother’s voice. She is telling you that she is not wounded and pleads for your help. What should you do? What would you do?

C. You are Agamemnon, the leader of the Greek expedition to Troy, provoked to war by the abduction of Helen of Troy, the wife of your brother Menelaeus. Before you and your 1000 ships can reach Troy, however, your fleet is stuck in place, stopped by the intercession of a god named Artemis. Time passes. Your supplies of food and water are dissipating. In addition to your family responsibility to defend the honor of your younger brother and help him retrieve his wife, you are aware that Zeus, the most powerful and important of the gods, has demanded that you sail to Troy. A seer is consulted to determine what might be done to appease the god Artemis and enable the fleet to be launched. You are told that you must sacrifice your virgin daughter, who is not far away. What should you do? What would you do?

D. The economy is tough. You have been out of work for some time. You don’t want to lose your home or apartment, and you are afraid that if you can’t find work soon, that might eventually happen. But, you’ve been networking, and it finally pays off. You are offered a job selling AK-47s, assault weapons that fire 600 rounds per minute, whose principal use is to kill people. While you would only be expected to sell these arms to “legitimate” buyers, you are also aware that the AK-47 is one of the world’s most frequently smuggled weapons and the rifles you sell are likely to get into the hands of criminals and drug lords. Should you take the job? What would you do?

E. An elderly aunt dies, one you have not seen in many years. She has named you the sole beneficiary of her estate, a total of $600,000. You are doing well financially, so the money is not a necessity for you, but you can certainly imagine an enormous number of uses for it (including charitable giving), not to mention the fact that it would allow you some peace of mind, knowing that you will be even more financially secure. You also have two siblings and two cousins, none of whom were more or less close to your aunt than you were. You are under no legal obligation to share the money with them, but you wonder whether you should. What would you do?

F. You are politically “pro-life.” You have campaigned for candidates who believe, as you do, in the sanctity of life from the moment of conception. You believe that abortion is murder, without qualification. Financially stable, you have donated money to prevent abortion. A young woman approaches you, someone you know, and who knows and respects the aforementioned beliefs. She is pregnant out-of-wedlock. She would like you to adopt her child. She knows that your two children, who you had when you were quite young, are grown, and believes you would be just the right parents for the new life she carries inside of her, in part because of your moral stance against abortion. She is terrified to give up her child to someone she doesn’t know and who might not provide the kind of home that she believes you and your spouse can provide. But the two of you had decided some time ago that you only wanted two children and, in fact, you have been looking forward to any empty nest and to the freedom it would permit you while you are still in your 40s. What should you do? What would you do?

G. The Holocaust again. This time you are a German gentile. You have a spouse and children. You are not wealthy, but you are getting by. You are not sympathetic to Hitler, but well aware of how the Gestapo works, and that anything seen by them as disloyal to Hitler and the Reich would likely cause you to be interrogated, perhaps sent to a concentration camp, or worse. Your family depends on you for their livelihood. A Jew comes to your door after dark. You know him, but only very casually. He asks you to hide him. You have heard rumors about what is happening to the Jews once they are sent away and, in fact, have been told by a witness that they are being murdered. What should you do? What would you do?

I am not here to give you answers to these questions, assuming that I would be able to come up with just one acceptable moral choice; or that I am some sort of moral authority, which I am not. It can be argued that some of these situations do not allow for a “right” action; not all situations in life offer absolute clarity. Life can be complicated, as these examples demonstrate.

To be sure, none of us are as good as we could be, but that does not mean what is good is always apparent. Indeed, in Aeschylus’s telling of Agamemnon’s story, the title character utters the words “(Which) of these things (choices) goes without disaster?” in describing the the conflict between his public responsibilities as leader of his troops, head of his (and his brother’s family), and the demands of the gods Zeus and Artemis versus his private responsibility as the father of young Iphigenia. The heart break is readily apparent in this man’s dilemma of whether to honor all the aforementioned interests except the one closest to his heart in “such sacrifice of (the) innocent blood…(of) the beauty of my house.”

On a daily basis, we can only do our best to lead moral, principled lives. Not just to talk about it, or formally worship a deity on a holy day, or even to donate some money, but to weave those beliefs into the fabric of daily, commonplace interactions, and try not to fool ourselves when we fall short; to minimize the everyday fibs, moral compromises, and inconsiderations; to show kindness, be forthright, go out of our way for others. To do what is right when no one is looking.

On the other hand, if we want to find out if our morality goes the distance, then we have to be tested — confronted with something difficult and costly, if not dangerous, if not horrible in its implications, as in the examples I’ve given you above; and until then, be humble, not knowing exactly what we would do.

Being a “nice person” is easy enough … until the chips are down.

Most of us won’t ever know the answers to the kinds of questions I have posed, that is, what we would do if actually faced with them.

Best not to know, I think.

The photo above called Choices, choices… is the work of Duncan Lilly, originally sourced from geograph.org.uk, sourced for this blog from Wikimedia Commons.